Meet Mikey

My son, Mikey, turned 10 in May 2011. One year before, he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Unfortunately, the diagnosis came after a long, terrible school year filled with numerous calls from the principal, detentions and notes to mom and dad.

For the first few years of his life, Mikey didn't seem any different than his older sister Emily. He was a pleasant infant, meeting milestones (crawling, walking, talking) right when he should. Mikey wasn't fussy or cranky.

Things started to change when Mikey turned four. One of his preschool teachers said that Mikey was difficult to work with. He refused to do his work, often throwing his papers or hiding under a table. We didn't really see that behavior at home, so, like many parents, we chalked it up to bad teaching.

When he reached elementary school, Mikey still refused to do a lot of his work. He would scribble all over a paper, throw it back at the teacher, and then hide under the table. Mikey complained that school was too easy.

True, Mikey did seem very bright. In first grade he yelled at my wife for kicking his Playmobil sarcophagus across the floor. When she asked him what a sarcophagus was, he answered, "It's a vessel used by the ancient Egyptians to bury their dead." When pressed about how he knew that fact, he credited The History Channel. "What do you think I do all day mom, watch cartoons?"

Mikey also had an amazing mathematical mind. He was able to calculate the sales tax on an item within a few cents. He could easily figure out how much money he would have left after buying a toy.

During the summer between first and second grade, we had Mikey tested for the gifted program. His test results were strong, but only on those items he completed. He refused to do much of the test battery.

After a frustrating second grade year, Mikey indicated that he would like to take the test again. He promised that he would complete all of the tests and that he would cooperate with the test administrator.

The results? An IQ of 136.

In my next post, I will discuss the pivotal third grade year.

A Big Realization

My son has Asperger's syndrome. That's not the big realization.

I am terrible dealing with everything Asperger's throws at me; there's the elephant in the room.

I feel like I am failing as a father. Most days, I don't know how my son will react to the various stimuli around him. When he reacts in a negative way, I am quick to become frustrated and then angry.

While I know his reactions are part of the condition, I still take them personally. Is the behavior an affront to my parenting? Where did I go wrong? What can I do differently to make my son's life better?

I certainly don't have any of the answers. I hope that writing about my experiences will help me decompress each day.